The Jewish Wisdom Database

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered?

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.