20 Quotations FoundID:26
Capital punishment would be more effective as a
preventive measure if it were administered prior to
the crime.
ID:2068
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
ID:2069
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe
when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
ID:2070
I am not afraid of death,
I just don't want to be there when it happens.
ID:2071
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
ID:2072
If only God would give me some clear sign!
Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
ID:2073
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying.
ID:2074
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers,
space is finite. This is a very comforting thought --
particularly for people who can never remember where
they have left things.
ID:2075
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
ID:2076
The good people sleep much better at night than the
bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking
hours much more.
ID:2077
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
ID:2078
Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered?
ID:2079
I can't listen to that much Wagner.
I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
ID:2081
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and
still carry a tune.
ID:2083
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering -
and it's all over much too soon.
ID:2084
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
ID:2085
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
ID:2086
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can
be done just as easily lying down.
ID:2087
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
ID:2378
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam;
I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.