The Jewish Wisdom Database

Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall - but don't rush to pick him up either.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.

Worries go down better with soup than without.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Live well. It is the greatest revenge.

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.

All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.

The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children ask better questions than adults. 'May I have a cookie?' 'Why is the sky blue?' and 'What does a cow say?' are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than 'Where's your manuscript?' Why haven't you called?' and 'Who's your lawyer?'

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word 'collectible' as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

My biggest nightmare is I'm driving home and get sick and go to hospital. I say: 'Please help me.' And the people say: 'Hey, you look like...' And I'm dying while they're wondering whether I'm Barbra Streisand.