The Jewish Wisdom Database

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

A Hospital is no place to be sick.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.

I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

Let's have some new cliches.

Spare no expense to save money on this one.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

You've got to take the bitter with the sour.